More About My Personal Life...

So my husband and I bought a new house in 2005. We put money down in January, and then moved in when the home was completed in July. It is truly the home of our dreams. We picked all the colors inside & out - - from the rich beige walls and sage textured carpet, to the deep red exterior with multi-colored bricks. I love our home, and it feels more like my HOME to me than anywhere I've lived since my family home.

We were so happy to sell our house in our old neighborhood... 1st time home-buyers houses (i.e. cheap and very small), which worked perfectly for newlyweds with no responsibilty besides a few pets. Unfortunately, we had many neighbors who moved straight from the trailer parks they grew up in to our little corner of the world. For your minds eye, each house had a 1 car garage (besides us and another couple down the street who splurged on the 2-car upgrade), each house had white-ish vinyl siding, all were the same basic exterior design, and each house had a small front yard with a patch of grass next to the street. Quaint and cozy.

We had one neighbor directly across the street who found it necessary to park his oil-leaking shit-pile of a truck on his "lawn" (a.k.a. patch of dead grass he was too lazy to maintain) because he did not splurge on the 2-car garage with a wider driveway. His garage was a work shop for his Harley that he never could figure out how to fix, and his wife would park 1/2 on the sidewalk & 1/2 on the patch of grass next to the street. They were a drunken, angry couple who had a child they never kept track of (shot at houses with his BB Gun, vandalized vehicles in broad daylight, pissed on the mailboxes), and found it necessary to yell at us for having a green lawn our front and back yards after they received a citation from the city for their fire hazard 18" tall weeds in their front & back yard. Fun people.

There was also the sleazy whore next door (divorced 30-somthing), who on several occassions came over to our house (braless in rather revealing outfits) when my truck was not in the driveway (either I was gone or had parked in the garage). The first time she came over it was rather late at night... the doorbell had rang and my husband answered the door. I heard a woman's voice say "My computer just crashed and I'm writing a term paper and I can't get it running again." My husband, still in his work clothes, told me he'd be right back... it was as I walked him to the door I noticed she was in a bathrom. I figuered no big deal, right? He was back in 2 minutes... "She's not so bright. She just needed to reboot her computer. That was weird." There was another occassion that as I came home from work (when I still worked retail) my husband was blocking her off at our front door. She was in flannel PJs this time, asking about recovering a file from a floppy disc. I came in through the garage door after parking, and heard the tail-end of a conversation from my husband saying, "If you're getting a disc error that says that it means you never had files on the disc. Maybe look through other discs to see if you accidentally saved it somewhere else." Good hubby. He wouldn't offer her more help than that. The next time she came over... I left to go the grocery store, and her mother waved as I backed out of the driveway then ran back to her daughter's house as I drove away. Ten minutes later I return home with the soda and chips, and there SHE is... on my front porch in Daisy Duke shorts and a lace-trimmed tank top giggling at MY husband. I get out of my truck, walk up to the front door and she says, "Oh! I thought you were gone to work! I just came over to ask for some help on my computer if your man has a few minutes..." Not sure of what all had been said, I stepped in between her & him, up into MY doorway, turned around and said, "He's unavailable because he has a date with his WIFE tonight." She said, "Aw, it'll only be a couple minutes... surely you can let him out of your sight for a few minutes." I responded, "George across the street owns a computer repair store and it looks like he's home. We really have to get to our date night though." She pouted a moment and realized I wasn't going to budge so she left. I never did see her go over to George's. My husband and I had a lengthy discussion about her, and he told me she had started calling his cell phone (which was noted on our home phone answering machine), asking him to meet her for lunch or trying to set up computer repair time. He never answers calls from numbers he doesn't know, so he had me listen to her voice messages. She was making us both uncomfortable... and more importantly, making me angry. In my wisdom I decided it was time to take things into my own hands. The following week I had a Wednesday off, so my husband took my truck to work. About 2 in the afternoon, she rings the doorbell in a sun dress that was near-sheer. I open the door. She looks surprised (big surprise). "Is your husband home?" "No." "Where is he?" "At work." "Oh, can you have him come help me with my computer later?" "What do you need help with? I'm quite a computer saavy person myself." "Oh, really? Um, well, you know I think I can probably figure it out, but I thought..." I have to interrupt. "You thought that since my car isn't home you can come over and act like a home-wrecker, right? I do not ever, EVER want you to come by MY home for help of any kind ever again. Do you understand?" "I think you're mistaken." "You think my husband and I don't talk? You think I don't know about the phone calls? You think if you keep coming over one day you too can have have a happy marriage like mine? He's taken and has no interest in you. And if you try coming over again, even if you think I'm not here, you WILL be answering to me, and I WILL kick your ass."

I felt like a lioness claiming her territory. I became the Alpha-Female. Whether she felt frightened or called out, I don't really care. Her house was up for sale the next week.

We continued living in the neighborhood for 6 months, the phone calls from the whore completely stopped, and things were great but... we were now talking about a starting a family, and the house kept feeling smaller, so we had our new home built. There are plenty of frightening people in our new neighborhood, but that's information for another day.


Blogger R, J, & A said...

I love how mean you are to stupid people! It's great, like in the movie theather for instance :) Glad you like your new home better!

4:39 PM  

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