New Outlook On Life

I have recently left a hostile work environment.  It took me getting away and sitting down at my home workbench to realize why I have felt so empty the past year.

My job within the company was to get them to make more money... so how do you prove that what you're doing is actually working?  Well people with common sense would say looking at sales numbers and gauge history before I came on board vs. after I came on board.

Company trends on paper were 15-20% increases in sales before I came in.  The numbers jumped to being up an average of 60% after I came in.  The numbers in 2012 ended with an overall increase in sales of 42%.  Damn, I'm good.

BUT WAIT!  It's not enough.  I personally closed nearly HALF of the company's December sales, but the owner's wife said she wasn't comfortable with me being the highest paid employee.

Oh - I'm sorry... I thought you wanted to make more money.  By paying me a ridiculous paycheck in December and still looking at your overall numbers, you made more profit as a company since I came on than and previous 5 years COMBINED.

I spent the last 6 months trying to prove to everyone that I was worth my weight in gold... only to be put down, ignored, and left out of company decisions that affected the bottom line.

I left a week ago to return to working from home.  I find I am sitting taller, feeling stronger, and realize I no longer need to prove anything to anyone but myself.

Sex Segregation

So I'm back into studying religions... this time I have been inspired after visiting the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C.

I've noticed Hasidic Jews traveling in small groups - always all men or all women.  In my mind I likened it to Mormons having to travel with a "buddy" before their mission so as to not be influenced by the opposite sex (I think this was primarily created because of the ever-seductive Scorpios of the world).  Of course there is more to it than that... so I am simplifying what I've learned for anyone else who is curious.

In the realm of Judaism (as in Christianity, Muslims, Scientology, etc.) there are your sort-of-practicers, your regulars, your ultra-believers, and your extremists.  Hasidic Jews border on extremists - taking their faith to the extreme in their fear of God, memorization of God's word, and practice of texts to honor God.

How does this relate to boys & girls?  Well primarily it means that the only way to avoid God's wrath if you get googly-eyed over a woman's hot knockers (or man's bulging package) is to never be in the presence of them.  Guys & gals can only intermingle if they are being introduced for the purpose of marriage... or they are actually married and should then be being fruitful and multiplying.  Hasidic churches have a men's side and a women's side - divided by a wall or curtain.  School classes are divided.  Many communities offer private buses for men or women.  And of course in the case where you may cross paths when out grocery shopping / walking into church - there is the guideline to cover every last part of your body to avoid inciting impure thoughts.  (I'm not sure about you... but I have always had an active imagination regarding people in clothing and what lies beneath.)

So there you have it... Hasidic Jews travel in uni-gender packs to avoid their minds going into the gutter.  BIG FUCKING TITTIES!!!



If you don't vote - you don't have the right to an opinion. If you do, you damn well better research what/who you are voting in... and I don't mean what television tells you. The only way to save our great country is to create a revolution of educated voters taking a stand. God help us all.

My recommendation? VOTE RON PAUL!!!


Wild ride!

2007 - Arm loans turn into defaults. People are kicked out of their homes as banks foreclose. The economy goes into the dump.

2010 - Obama says: Lets stand up a credit protection bureau without congressional approval, and work on educating Americans to get out of debt!

2011 - *MEANWHILE IN WASHINGTON* Lets get the United States into a shit-ton of debt that can never be recovered from!

Meh - we'll be fine. We can't all get kicked out of our own country, right?


Frightening Times

Government shutdown... all because a bunch of politicians are playing the "my cock is bigger than yours" game. If you haven't already figured out how I feel, I think the government needs to cut spending.

YES - by not providing support to people who are not citizens.
YES - at the risk of the under-privileged.
(i.e. Does the First Lady really need 48 assistants? Why are there 1,800 attorneys with the IRS? Why are government contractors building "photo pages" for sharing pics from government picnics?)

Seriously. This is why America is in debt. People want to go to work without working...

We need a good, old-fashioned, worldwide plague. Obliterate at least 70% of the population.


The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Looking back at this year, I realize I've been too busy to write down my feelings here. I don't have many people I talk to about things going on in my head... so I just allow my work to consume me and I forget about the things I'm thinking and feeling.

Today I vowed to spend my time cooking, relaxing, and thinking. I got up this morning and prepped a nice little 10-pound turkey with my hubby. We put it in the oven, and I got on the computer to play some games. At 3:00, I started sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, & garlic cheddar mashed potatoes. By 4:00, we pulled the turkey out of the oven, and my hubby carved away while I finished up the side dishes. Everything was so YUMMY!

Now I'm sitting and enjoying my snuggly, sleepy kitties - reflecting on 2010.

We were very blessed this year to have good health and no bad news in either of our families. We did some major world traveling to Europe. My home business grew to a storefront and is thriving. Our marriage is stronger than ever and we are quickly approaching 8 years together. I'm thankful for the good friends we have that make it possible for us to just be who we are.

Merry Christmas (or Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Muharram, or whatever you are celebrating) and Happy New Year!!!


Four-Wheel Drive

The things I love about Colorado outweigh the things I hate... but this time of year brings out a frustration which I can't help but voice.

WHYWHYWHY do people think that having a 4-wheel drive vehicle means they can drive however they want?

So to those people, I want to ask the following:

Are you an idiot?
Do you have a God complex?
Perhaps it's a Napoleon complex?
Were you dropped on your head as a child?
What part of "icy conditions" do you not comprehend?
Do you actually think 4-wheel drive means 4-wheel stop?
When you slide through an intersection... do you think it's a fluke?
Is your wang so small that you must drive like an ass in any kind of weather?
How does it feel to smash a small car with your big, overcompensating vehicle?

The next snow storm / icy weather that comes your way... try driving 10-15 under the speed limit, and leave home early so you don't have to drive like a dick to get to where you're going on time.



I have been becoming less of a fan of the holidays over the last few years. The biggest reason? The in-laws.

My husband and I have become the afterthought because we are the only people who don't have kids. We try to be proactive... we make calls and send e-mails. We ask if anyone has made plans, or if anyone is wanting to host something, and we never get responses.

Then events are coordinated without including us, and we get a call a few days before telling us where to be and when. It always involves us driving for hours to someone else's house, and when we arrive we get the, "I'm so glad you could make it! It really is easier for you to make the trip here than for anyone to come see you." Yeah. I know. Thanks.

This year we decided that we would make the trip for Thanksgiving, and offer to host Christmas at our house. We drove for 4 hours to have turkey lunch with his family, and as we were getting ready to leave - the question came, "Do you have plans for Christmas?" My husband answered, "Well actually, we're going to stay home. We'd love to host Christmas dinner this year for everyone!" To which his mother said, "With these grandbabies, I can't imagine doing Christmas anywhere but here." He said to me, "I guess we'll have dinner just the two of us!"

I doubt there will be any change of plans...


Wheat Montana = Awful Irony

Okay - so whenever we travel home to Montana, we drive past the headquarters for Wheat Montana in Three Forks. Over the past decade they have grown from having a bakery in a small town, to having delis all over the state and a product line available nationwide. Their business concept is solid - work with Northwestern farmers to buy wheat, make custom breads and packaged wheat products, then sell products via their storefronts and retailers like Wal-Mart.

So here's where my issues with Wheat Montana come in. Let's do a re-wind.

Before I was born my dad was a Regional Engineer for a nationwide bakery chain. He had dedicated years to building large-scale bakeries (think 100,000 loaves of bread per day) from the ground up, training the men who would maintain the equipment, then traveling to a new location and doing it again. My dad knew the schematics of each bakery by heart before the foundation was poured... and he knew how to get the equipment installed ahead of schedule. He loved his work, but he also loved his family and by traveling so much he one day realized he was missing out on family life.

Together my mom and dad took a leap of faith. They sold their home, bought some land on the Western side of Montana, and built their dream home in the woods on a mountain...

My mother began working as a teacher's aide, my father got into working construction (sometimes calls came in for him to travel and help his old company with bakery remodels). Money was tight, but it was well managed. We shopped for clothes at Goodwill, bought groceries in bulk, and I worked to have money to participate in school programs (I bought my own uniforms, paid for gas - nothing was covered by the school district).

There was a point I began having some health problems. I had no stamina for sports, I was blacking out, there were indescribable chest pains, and I was losing feeling in my arms and legs occasionally. A visit to the doctor led to referral to a heart specialist... I seemed to be in good physical condition, but he said my heartbeat "sounded irregular".

Specialists weren't covered by our insurance, so dad needed to make some more money in order to cover tests that were being recommended for me. Dad made a few calls, and soon heard from an old friend at the big bakery. An associate bakery in Three Forks was having equipment problems... something right in line with dad's expertise. The friend said the bakery admitted they hadn't been maintaining some of the equipment, they needed to do an expansion, and they had no idea where to start.

With a couple of more phone calls, dad packed up a small suitcase and traveled 4 hours to the small town to see how he could help out. After a full day of fixing a few problems and talking with the bakery owner, Dad had about 5 weeks worth of work ahead of him. He was going to be doing installation on 3 new pieces of equipment, overseeing the electrical, handling maintenance on equipment, and working as a full-time employee 5-days a week to ensure everything would get done. Since my father knew what parts were needed and where to order everything from for repairs and maintenance, the owner simply asked dad to put it on his credit card and make it a part of the bill. They locked in the plan with a handshake, and dad checked in to the local motel, then called my mother and gave the go-ahead for her to schedule my tests knowing the money would be coming in to cover things.

Two days later I was lying in the hospital having ECGs, PET scans, and all different types of diodes hooked up to my chest to try to find out what was going on. Then the waiting began.

In the meantime, Dad bought about $3,000 worth of parts and supplies for Wheat Montana. He was working full time, then coming home each weekend to be with the family. Three weeks in to the project he submitted his first invoice which included the parts he had ordered. The owner only paid labor, apparently because he wanted to be sure all of the parts Dad ordered were used. Reasonable enough.

Test results were confirming I indeed had an irregular heartbeat, but even the specialists were unsure if it was a deformity in my heart or something being caused by my brain...

Dad finished the project for Wheat Montana. Machinery had been restored, cleaned, rewired to meet safety standards, new equipment was installed and running swimmingly, and the owner gave Dad a pat on the back. The closing invoice was submitted, and Dad was to pick up his final check the following morning before leaving Three Forks to come home.

The next morning came, dad stopped in at Wheat Montana, and picked up the check. As he opened it, he noticed it was again only for labor and not the parts or hotel. He asked to speak to the owner, who was nowhere to be found for the first time since Dad had started the project. The secretary made a few calls, and Dad was finally told that it was an honest mistake and that a second check would be dropped in the mail that afternoon once the owner came in to sign it.

A few days went by, no check. Dad called again. He was told that things had gotten busy, and it was overlooked, but would go out the next day. A week passed, no check. Mom called. She was told that the check wasn't cut before the owner went on vacation, so it would go out once he got back into Montana. A month passed, no check.

Then Dad got a call from the owner. He asked Dad to come back to Wheat Montana to help with making a change to one of the new pieces of equipment... and to straighten out the outstanding bill. It would just be a couple of days work, but with interest charges coming in on the credit card, and the bills for my hospital tests were showing up, so dad couldn't say no.

He traveled again to Three Forks, and made the changes, and set an appointment to sit down and talk with the owner about future business practice beyond settling up the invoice. The owner mysteriously forgot the appointment, dad came home - - this time without receiving money for the most recent hotel stay or labor, on top of the past balance.

Another round of calls and promises happened, and my parents looked into filing a small-claims case against Wheat Montana, but with the money they were already out they were afraid to file and lose since there wasn't a contract - only that first handshake. Mom and Dad took money out of their small retirement fund to pay the bills so they wouldn't lose the house.

I was finally diagnosed with a disorder that can happen when a teenager grows too quickly... a combination of the body's reaction to hormonal changes and stress on the body causing a heart flutter. My symptoms would eventually pass.

Wheat Montana took my family for over $4,000... and the owner was awarded the "Montana Family Owned Business of the Year" the next summer.

Well yeah... he's done amazing things for Montana farmers, for without their product he wouldn't be in business. As for people he considers expendable, he doesn't care if he throws them out like trash. As long as he can take his spoiled kids on trips to Hawaii, it doesn't matter that he sucks the finances away from struggling families by not fulfilling his agreements. If he gets to sit in his shiny new pickup, the world is great - while he crushes the spirits of small businesses that are where he was 20 years ago.

Everyone gets theirs in the end, though. I can only recommend that if you shake his hand, you make him sign a contract immediately afterward... because he is completely incapable of doing business the way it used to be done.


WoW - My Brain is Fried

World of Warcraft is an addiction. I say this because I'm surrounded by people who suffer from it. I have a guy friend who only met women to date online via the game. I know a guy who doesn't share a bed with his wife anymore because they work opposite hours and play until they can hardly stay awake... thus missing each other face-to-face 6 of 7 days of the week. There is a couple I know who put their kids to bed early to get online and play. I have seen marriages break up... I have seen people enter into affairs... I've watched children grow while their parents were glued to the monitor... and I'm trying so hard to not become a part of it.

Why is it so popular? It's a way to escape. The economy is bad, prices are going up, incomes are going down, and on WoW you can be someone else for the low price of $15.00 a month. You can slay mobs of creatures with the click of a finger, and become a highly sought-after master crafter who always has work to do and money coming in, and meeting new people is as easy as saying "LFG! (Looking For Group)".

Now I'm realizing I haven't posted to my blog in nearly a month (yeah - I was traveling), but since I've been home I've been playing because it's easy. So I'm breaking the habit... it's just a matter of willpower and I'm a strong woman. So it begins!