The Best of August - Horror Stories From Advertising

I had the pleasure of running into a former co-worker this past week and have learned some intriguing information. Apparently my former company has had record losses of clients over the course of the summer...

Even though their hay-day is long since over they keep paying the department managers top-dollar while not giving raises to current employees. I have to think back to the huge remodel they did over the past year - spending over $100K to put in mis-matched flooring, new furniture, and a "water feature" that eats up 5 gallons of distilled water every 3 days! Sorry kids - your raise went to keeping the fountain running this year.

It really just makes me sad. I can't count on all of my fingers and toes how many times I was literally YELLED at for making a SUGGESTION - either about commercials, different marketing strategies, even boosting company morale! Is there really something wrong with making your employees feel WANTED? Is it necessary to make them feel like worthless pieces of shit so they have a complex for the rest of their lives? I wish every day that I had called the labor board for the things I saw and they way I was treated.

Forget the cussing and belittling - the physical threats were the worst. Twice I had paperwork THROWN at me, once I was hit in the head with a media guidebook, and another time my boss actually dumped a glass of water on me.

Now the word on the street is that there have been many manager meetings. Long meetings. The cutbacks have begun. Silly - since dropping one worthless manager who spends their workdays golfing and gossiping would solve the problem for all of the employees in all of the departments who ACTUALLY WORK.

My advice would be to jump ship while you can. Get your resumes out there - take a few long lunches for interviews - and just get the FUCK OUT. That ship is going down sure as the Titanic.


Democratic Destruction

In all of their wisdom, the DNC which visited Denver decided to "Go Green" and hack down some trees to make wooden hotel key cards. Not surprisingly, the wood grains did not allow for a proper bond of the magnetic strips to actually open hotel room doors. So tens-of-thousands of wooden key cards had to be thrown away to rot in a landfill.

The saddest part of this whole thing is that if they had simply used traditional Plastic key-cards they would have been more "Green" because the normal cards are made from RECYCLED PLASTIC.


Part Time

I decided to apply for a job just to keep me busy in the summer (the season my home business always slows down). So as I mentioned a few weeks back - I've been going to the gym, losing weight, losing inches, and just toning up! It just so happened that they were hiring for a part-time position and so I applied.

I've been working there for a month and I love it! From the standpoint of being member I really believe in the results and how I've been feeling. Now that I'm an employee - I'm getting the chance to learn more about the science and nutrition behind what they teach to members. On a corporate level - they really do care about the long-term health and awareness of their members.

The last few weeks I've been participating in their nutrition class, and have been losing even more weight because of it. The best part is - my body (that has been needing so many prescription drugs to get over the trauma of working at my last company) is finally Rx free! I feel energized, happy, and healthy!

So to my friends who live in my area - I invite you to come visit my club and do a free workout with me. It will only be 30 minutes out of your day to try something that could change your life!


Monsoon Season!

The stinkin' hot weather is finally subsiding, and around 4 in the afternoon those BIG, DARK, & OMINOUS clouds start to roll off the mountains. Then the rain comes... at first in a light and enjoyable sprinkle. Within a few minutes it turn into sheets and buckets pouring down from every direction! The crack of the thunder and the constant rumbling of the overloaded raindrops hitting every surface in sight - vehicles, pavement, trees, and scampering pedestrians - so wonderful! The storms rejuvenate my rose garden - like a second chance - to drink in the bounty from the heavens and bloom anew.

If it was safe I'd probably sit outside and soak up the rain like my plants... wash away the thoughts in my mind and the stresses of the day-to-day. The crackling and BOOMS hit pretty close to home in monsoon season, and I don't want to be a lightning rod anytime soon.