Conquests - Part 7

I've gone snow skiing in a swimsuit.

Long story short... I participated in a charity event in college. People bought tickets to come watch the events, and all the proceeds went to St. Jude's. In my event, students (male & female) raced down the mountain in swimwear - - we were each allowed gloves, a scarf, and hat along with our ski gear and swimsuits. It was the same ski-fest in which there were sofas on skis (racing and competing for most original design), raft races, and then actual skiing events.

I didn't place, but I wasn't last, and I made it down the mountain without falling.

Conquests - Part 6

I have been locked in a bathroom with Jewel.

A few years ago I worked for a rodeo events & promotions company. The best part was getting to travel all over the country and meet rodeo heroes I grew up watching on TV. Some of the events my company worked with were for the PBR (Professional Bull Riders) - - so instead of a barrage of rodeo contenders and livestock, I was surrounded by the nitty-gritty bad-boys of rodeo and very large and angry bulls. I can't count the number of times my ass got slapped by the bull-riders in the two years I traveled with the circuit.

As some Jewel fans may know, she has been in & out of a relationship with one particular bull-rider over the last few years. The issue I always had with her was that she would pitch a fit if she didn't have "special seating" away from the general public. Not all arenas have seating over the bull chutes, or a reasonable way to fence off a "celebrity section" for her special little self. Now when our events would travel to California, NORMAL celebrities would buy tickets, sit with the crowd, and buy beer like anyone else. Even when that would happen, Jewel (or her boyfriend) would request special seating for her glorious ass of fame. It was a thorn in my side, and on more than one occasion she had one of her travel buddies come tell me what had been arranged was unacceptable, even though it was away from the mere mortals that sat in general seating elsewhere in the venue.

Whatever. I was a fan of her music, I didn't need to like her personality...

At some venues, the agreement was that the cleaning crew wouldn't come through until the morning after the event (some of our cowboys enjoyed hanging out in the locker rooms after an event). My staff was always at a venue for at least 4 hours after the night was over to wrap up contracts, write checks, and pack up. I ventured into one of the alternate bathrooms near out office to wash my face around 11:00 PM. The event had been over for two hours, and we had at least two hours before heading back to the hotel. I walk in and start scrubbing my face as Jewel comes through the door, squawking on her cell phone. She visited the toilet (while on the phone) and as I was heading towards the door to leave, I heard keys turning the dead-bolt on the bathroom door. I hung my head, with an idea of what was about to happen...

Jewel came out, washed her hands, then looked at me with a "fuck you" expression. She was still twittering on her phone as she walked toward the door, grabbed the handle, then realized we were locked in. "Oh my God! I am trapped in a bathroom with some redneck. Get someone down here right now!" It occurred to me that whoever was on the other end was in the building, yet she couldn't be off the damn cell long enough to piss.

Not once did she acknowledge that I was in the same room, and 15 minutes later someone finally came by with a the cleaning crew to get us out. I haven't bought a CD from that bitch since.


Elton John Is Not Married

Interesting quote from Elton John. I like his thinking, and his way of phrasing things...

"I hate people saying I'm married," Elton John told the London Mirror. "Marriage is a heterosexual term for men and women. We've got a civil partnership. It's not a religious ceremony. I didn't want to get married. I just wanted a lifetime commitment... I thought I might get the odd flour bomb but there was no negative reaction. It was the nicest day of my life, with all the people I love most."

Definately food for thought! Why not allow for commitment? I still say heterosexuals shouldn't be worried about allowing for homosexual unions... they aren't going to breed us out of existance!


Mountain Discoveries

Few posts over the last couple of weeks... my husband and I have been doing a LOT of traveling.

First was a family reunion into the mountains. We had a great turn-out overall with my father coming into town from Montana, my oldest brother with his wife and son from Arizona, my husband's sister with her husband and their son. It was 5 solid days of riding off on ATVs to visit old mining sites, high altitude peaks, and ghost towns scattered over the mountains. We found some incredible treasures on our outings!

One afternoon we stopped for sandwiches up at 13,800 feet, and not but 100 yards down the mountain was a herd of mountain sheep. After attempting to count them over lunch, we decided there were at least 30 in all. We drove around in the mountains a few more hours, then retired to our camp near sundown and grilled steaks over an open fire with boiled corn on the cob. I think the dinner overall would rank in my top 10 meals ever.

Another day we visited a beautiful stream. In the morning everything looked surreal, with beams of sunlight shining through the trees. It was so fun to watch my youngest nephew tossing pebbles into the water... he was nothing but smiles! We crossed over the Continental Divide just before noon, and dropped into a secluded valley. The plan had originally been to take an afternoon break for lunch, however after passing a small lake we came into ghost town with a pulse. Turn of the century mining residences lined the four-wheel drive road, and people were out sweeping their steps, walking their dogs, and enjoying a leisurely mountain life. In the heart of the wooden town was a restaurant - - or more accurately a converted one-room cabin with a restaurant grill in the corner, and eight tables for customers. The timing was perfect! We were fed fresh-cut fries and burgers, while an angry thunderstorm drenched our machines outside.

Something about camp fires, cocoa, and family makes me feel more alive!

Sadly, many hippie / environmentalists want to take away the right for All-Terrain Vehicles to access mountain roads because some idiots don't stay on the trails. As with all things in life, a couple of jackasses can ruin a pastime for the rest of the planet. My husband and I have joined the Blue Ribbon Coalition, an organization dedicated to protecting the rights of off-road vehicle owners who follow the trails and respect the environment. CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE!

Conquests - Part 5

I have streaked a neighborhood... and not been arrested.

I had some interesting acquaintances when I lived in Phoenix, two of which were a husband and wife with a myriad of issues of their own. The only thing we had in common was that we enjoyed playing Dungeons & Dragons (not running about in costumes and stabbing trees, but gathering around a table with some dice). One weekend, the guy I was dating and I went to this strange couples' house for some munchies, drinks, and gaming. After about 2 hours, we all took a break. The crazy wife started crying and ran to her room. The guys just sat at the table, opened up their next drink, and looked at me as though because I was the only other woman around it was logically my responsibility to fix things.

I knocked on her door, and went in to find her huddled by her window, looking out at the night city. It took awhile, but I came to find out the reason for her whole outburst was that she felt like her life was flying by, and she had never had the chance to do anything crazy. She was young... only 24 with two kids. Her background had been marriage the week after she graduated from high school, pregnant the following month, and a house-wife straight out of her family home.

My life had already been taking a different path. I was 21, living alone in a home I was paying for with income from a job I enjoyed. For me, every day was a new adventure, and I took every opportunity to try something different.

As she babbled on about the misery of marriage and curse of demon children, she mumbled something about having never even been nude in public. I began thinking that I had never been nude in public either, and wondered if after a few years of marriage I would be experiencing the same regrets.

"Let's streak the neighborhood," I said without really thinking.
"What?!?!" She looked confused. "What if someone sees us?"
"It's 1:00 AM. This is a family neighborhood of people who were asleep 3 hours ago."
"You have regrets, why not get this one out of the way?"
"Alright." She looked empowered. "We should sneak out the garage so the guys don't know we're gone."

I grabbed a towel and stripped in the guest bathroom, and she and I met in our shoes and towels at the back door. She flipped off the light on the garage, and we walked out to the street. "I'm very shy. I don't want anyone to see me." "I'll run around the block clock-wise, you run the other way... We should only pass each other on the once, and it's really dark out." "Okay. 1 - 2 - 3 - GO."

Before I knew it she was off running. I dropped my towel and took off the other way. I felt like the village idiot! My hair was flying, my shoes were hitting the ground in a steady jog, and things that should never flap in the wind were making sounds that I have never heard come from any edge of my body before. It was liberating! As she and I passed, we were both giggling like mad, and a minute later it was over...

We quickly wrapped ourselves back in our towels, snuck into the house, and never spoke of it again.