Conquests - Part 6

I have been locked in a bathroom with Jewel.

A few years ago I worked for a rodeo events & promotions company. The best part was getting to travel all over the country and meet rodeo heroes I grew up watching on TV. Some of the events my company worked with were for the PBR (Professional Bull Riders) - - so instead of a barrage of rodeo contenders and livestock, I was surrounded by the nitty-gritty bad-boys of rodeo and very large and angry bulls. I can't count the number of times my ass got slapped by the bull-riders in the two years I traveled with the circuit.

As some Jewel fans may know, she has been in & out of a relationship with one particular bull-rider over the last few years. The issue I always had with her was that she would pitch a fit if she didn't have "special seating" away from the general public. Not all arenas have seating over the bull chutes, or a reasonable way to fence off a "celebrity section" for her special little self. Now when our events would travel to California, NORMAL celebrities would buy tickets, sit with the crowd, and buy beer like anyone else. Even when that would happen, Jewel (or her boyfriend) would request special seating for her glorious ass of fame. It was a thorn in my side, and on more than one occasion she had one of her travel buddies come tell me what had been arranged was unacceptable, even though it was away from the mere mortals that sat in general seating elsewhere in the venue.

Whatever. I was a fan of her music, I didn't need to like her personality...

At some venues, the agreement was that the cleaning crew wouldn't come through until the morning after the event (some of our cowboys enjoyed hanging out in the locker rooms after an event). My staff was always at a venue for at least 4 hours after the night was over to wrap up contracts, write checks, and pack up. I ventured into one of the alternate bathrooms near out office to wash my face around 11:00 PM. The event had been over for two hours, and we had at least two hours before heading back to the hotel. I walk in and start scrubbing my face as Jewel comes through the door, squawking on her cell phone. She visited the toilet (while on the phone) and as I was heading towards the door to leave, I heard keys turning the dead-bolt on the bathroom door. I hung my head, with an idea of what was about to happen...

Jewel came out, washed her hands, then looked at me with a "fuck you" expression. She was still twittering on her phone as she walked toward the door, grabbed the handle, then realized we were locked in. "Oh my God! I am trapped in a bathroom with some redneck. Get someone down here right now!" It occurred to me that whoever was on the other end was in the building, yet she couldn't be off the damn cell long enough to piss.

Not once did she acknowledge that I was in the same room, and 15 minutes later someone finally came by with a the cleaning crew to get us out. I haven't bought a CD from that bitch since.