The Best of May - Horror Stories From Advertising

I am having so much fun writing this update every month! Thanks to all my readers who return regularly to check out the features. Let the stories begin!!!

The Baby Bunch - There is a group of women who are openly trying to get pregnant. As I've said, the office is a small group of people, maybe a total of 35-40 people in the building full-time. This group is roughly 7 women (20% of the company) who have babies on the brain and are all either plotting out their lives around getting pregnant, are ready to get pregnant and actively practicing, or have a bun in the oven already. I applaud each of these ladies in their efforts. My own husband and I have been trying off and on for the past 2 years with no luck, so we're now back to "Lets do some more travel and finish up the last of school first." The horror of it all is there is one woman who has gone through fertility treatments of every kind and has received final word she just can't get pregnant... and one woman in the Baby Bunch knows her story, yet gushes about her plans anyways around her . It is so hard to watch my friends' reaction every time the subject comes up - - it's as though I am watching someone's heart break before my eyes. All I can do when it happens around me is change the subject as quickly as possible and hope no one notices anything. The closet-preggers and some of the wanna-be-mommies are not at all malicious to my dear friend with the bad news, but that one woman makes it her mission to gush baby-talk around my friend like she wants to inflict mental pain. Why are there such evil people in the world? It's the kind of behavior that makes me sure vominous black oil oozes through the veins of some. I do wish the best to my pregnant, and soon to hopefully be pregnant friends, but I also wish a life of infertility on the one evil individual with the heart that is dark as pitch.

The Fish - Yes, she has struck again! It is pretty much common knowledge that she has left her boyfriend of 2 years so she can continue knocking boots with a client without feeling guilty about washing off the man-juice of one guy in the home of another guy. Well, the night she decided it was over, The Fish, Thongie, and Fireball all decided to head out for a night of binge drinking and drunken purgeing. It was a work night, but who the fuck cares when you just need to get hammered? The following morning Fireball comes in on-time and pissed off as always. Thongie wanders in clearly hung-over at her usual time of 9:30 (an hour past when she is supposed to be at work). The Fish calls in around 10:00, and is still so morbidly drunk on the phone that our receptionist can only attempt to deciper her mumbling and pass the message to her manager. I guess use your sick time as you see fit... but DAMN, don't make your drunken stupor so obvious!


Anonymous rosie said...

ha ha. Yay for a the pregnant people! You guys need to hurry up!

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Smoove D said...

The Fish sounds like my kind of woman. Except for her lack of professionalism regarding work night drinking.

7:52 PM  
Blogger Conqueress said...

Rosie - Even my husbands mother can't convince him it's time for us to start a family.

Smoove - The Fish has been around a few too many times... you don't want what she's got.

9:59 AM  

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