Newer, Better, Faster, Stronger!

As my time in advertising comes to a close and I approach a new era of my life... I am no longer afraid to exercise my FREEDOM OF SPEECH! I've started thinking about all of the awful happenings at work that I've been forced to ignore because I NEEDED my job - - Secrets have been kept safe, stories untold, and laughter has been contained since The Boss tried to rip my spirit out and stomp it with her ugly little midget clogs. I couldn't speak openly because everyone hates criticism, but it is easy for a manager to make life hell on any one person that they decide to single out. Being the under-appreciated, over-worked step-child isn't really so bad anymore. So to quote Dirty Harry, "Go ahead. Make my day."

I must say that The Fish's promotion didn't come as a big surprise. The managers knew about her relationship with a client - - and it probably did help strengthen his bond with our company (if you sleep with one of us, you're kind of in bed with all of us). Additionally, The Biscuit (class "A" manager of the The Fish and others) has a flawless team! Considering they all can walk on water and crap rose petals, that group of women is quite simply PERFECT.

Joking aside... Why not just admit when your team royally fucks up and work on a solution to prevent it from happening again? Oh wait - - that would mean they aren't perfect and can handle a little criticism and learn from their mistakes. God forbid we should learn anything! The employees in The Biscuit's department are so coddled that they will never be able to advance professionally because they have been reduced to blubbering twits with no independent thoughts left in their minds.

So, kiddies - keep your eyes peeled, because I will soon resume my monthly installments of "Horror Stories From Advertising". This shit is just too go to be made up!


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