The Best of February - Horror Stories From Advertising

Life is full of irony. Sometimes it's the fun Irony that you look back on and have a good hearty laugh. Sometimes it's the Irony that wakes a great revelation in your life's path and leads you on to better things. Then there's Irony like I experienced this month - the kind that's awkward - like a burning rash... on your ass.

I "went out" with a lot of nice boys in High School. I'm still friends with many of them. It would seem my sense for picking deep-down good people to have in my life has been up and running for years! We keep in touch via the web - and I've ended up making custom jewelry for their now girlfriends / wives.

Phoenix was the city where I actually "dated". If someone asked me out (and they weren't creepy), I'd go out. I dated all types - - A heart surgeon, a cop, a finance manager, a car salesman, a firefighter, a radio DJ - I can't even remember names anymore. It was just casual dating, where you meet up for dinner and talk awhile, maybe go to a movie, and if you had a nice time you'd go out again. They never found out where I lived because I was paranoid (thanks to my psycho stalker in college). Most weren't interesting or unique - so I didn't keep in touch - with one exception.

I dated a guy off and on for 2 years. While things didn't work for us as a couple, we have enough in common to be pretty good friends. His company offered to help him transfer to Colorado (to a town we liked after passing through on a road trip a year earlier) - and knowing that the desert was killing me, he asked if I'd want to get my stuff moved out of Arizona (he would keep things in order until I could find a job and apartment in the new city). I got new job, sold my home in Arizona, was reunited with my belongings in Colorado, my mom passed away, I went back to Montana to help my dad for awhile - - my ex took care of my cat and my stuff. I returned to Colorado to move ahead with life. My new job payed well, I moved into a nice little apartment, but I drank a *LOT* in my off time. Looking back, I know I was the weakest I had ever been, but it was easier to drink until I fell asleep than to reach out to anyone. After about 4 months of the drunken cycle - I knew it was time for a change. I called a shrink. I was able to talk about the pain. I quit drinking. I got better.

I met my husband as soon as my life took a mental upturn. We're just shy of our 5 year anniversary - and I am thankful everyday for the life we share. What we've created together is more amazing than I could have ever hoped for from a marriage... It sounds cliche, but he's my soul-mate, and every time I look in his eyes I see our lives just getting better together. Over the years we've had time to embrace and appreciate our past, and while he's not one for keeping in touch with many people outside of family and our close-knit group of friends, he's very sweet about the friendships I still have from before we met.

How does all of this relate to Advertising? My regular readers know about my old company and the nightmare that is the evil cloven-foot midget troll... and I think everyone can agree that the company is ass backwards. I still have friends there, so I get the updates from my minions every couple of weeks either by meeting up for lunch or by having ex-coworker friends over to the house. Early this month I met up with my Boyz from art. It's become my routine to pick them up to go to lunch... We hang out and have a good laugh at the expense of the incompetent idiots that are constantly swarming (like flies to horse shit) into the company. Good times.

Most recently I dropped the art Boyz off after lunch, and was driving out of the parking lot when I almost hit my ex from Arizona. Irony - like a bad rash. I would contribute the feeling to surprise overall... but ugh! Yes, we're still friends - we've known each other almost 8 years. Heck - if not for my ex I would have never moved here. If I hadn't moved I would have never met the love of my life. So not bad... but ugh again!!! Seeing him at that company was the bad rash. After having a quick chat - and knowing that's he's joined the insanity is just f-ing hilarious - and the irony evolved.

I now see Irony of the Obscene Hilarity sort - the kind that makes you snort from laughing too hard.


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