Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Have A Girl!

The alien baby was born this afternoon in California. Tom & Katie have chosen the name "Suri" meaning "Princess". No secrets here, she is the future royalty of Scientology. Why not just give her the full title, "Princess Suri, Heir to the Throne of Scientology" (maybe because Princess Princess is a bit redundant when translated).

Suri was born a U.S. Citizen, but her father is also considering planetary citizenship with Uranus (his home). How many wanna place bets that Tom will convince this child she is the reborn L. Ron Hubbard destined to rule the Church? I bet the story comes out by the time she's 9.

Only time will tell if Princess Suri is safe from our great Lord Xenu under the protection of her father who is only an Operating Thetan VII. HAIL XENU - THE ALL POWERFUL!!! This child is no threat to your power & glory of 10 Billion years as Supreme Ruler of the Universe!!!


Blogger R, J, & A said...

I think Suri is a super cute baby name, it is princess in hewbrew and red rose in persian. I did want to post something that I don't really care about but I thought you would like to hear:

According to Perezhilton.com the name Suri = Surrey, which is also a region of England, which is where the "deceased" L. Ron Hubbard's home is located and it is the headquarters of Scientology in the UK.

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All hail Suri, our ticket for a safe Cruise Holme into the deep unknown.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Debra said...

R J & L - interesting.

That little girl is going to grow up in a very strange life. *shakes head*

1:34 AM  
Anonymous B said...

Turns out Suri doesn't mean that at all. In all of his wisdom he was wrong...

Suri has only two meanings - one is a person from Syria and the other "go away" when addressed to a female. Hebrew expert Jonathan Went says, "I think it's fair to say they have made a mistake here. There are variations of the way the Hebrew name for princess is spelt but I have never seen it this way." Suri can also be translated into a Hindi boy's name, and it also means "pointy nose" in some Indian dialects and "pickpocket" in Japanese.

2:11 PM  

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