The Best of August - Horror Stories From Advertising

Don't get me wrong - I truly enjoy the people I've worked with. I just hate the pointless projects to amuse my supervisor (who I believe is bi-polar). This leads into my first story (and if you get offended - just quit reading my blog)...

The Boss decided that she was angry with my husband because he wouldn't return her calls in an emergency (never mind that she called from the generic office number and wouldn't leave a voice message). The servers had gone down because someone *cough*ITpeople*cough* had messed with the server settings, the IT people were too incompetent to figure out how to restore things after said changes were made, and everyone was looking to my husband to fix it remotely from his new job. The Boss cornered me after her 3rd try to call him, proceeded to yell that it was my fault my husband wasn't answering his phone, came to my desk every 10 minutes to see if I had found a way to contact him, and then talked shit about my marriage in the department for all employees to hear. I finally got to my husband via e-mail. He left a CLIENT PRESENTATION to be on the phone with the incompetent IT people at my company to bail them out.

But that's just what leads up to my story. The following day we had a scheduled business lunch, and on our drive there she informed me that I would no longer be working on her pet-project craft show account (which had NOTHING to do with our company). The Boss believed she was hurting my feelings because she said, "I know how much you like working on this account. But I just can't trust that you will continue to handle it with care since you will be leaving the company soon."

GOOD RIDDANCE! I was forced to give the client my cell phone number when The Boss was going out-of-town. The client called me nearly every weekend with stupid questions that had NOTHING to do with advertising, The Boss constantly changed her mind about what she wanted me to do with the advertising (3 EVENTS I changed the advertising after placing buys because she got a wild-hair up her ass - and 2 TIMES returned to the original buy after I made the changes). I was ready to be done with that account so much so that I nearly overcame my disgust towards her to give her a hug (nearly, mind you).

Funny thing was that while I was no longer to be involved with the account in any way - I still was on the phone with the client at The Boss' direction, I still placed the advertising, I was the contact for the stations regarding the advertising, I was responsible for the stations getting the commercials, I was responsible for negotiating the Newspaper ads... blah, blah, blah. Nothing changed at all. So lame. The only way to get out of the stoopid pet-projects of The Boss is to quit. Which I will be doing soon... and will be my own boss and a better person for it.

For my readers - I'm providing you a visual of the bane of my existence to help for future reference:
The Boss

Hehehe. Next I want to discuss NARCISSISM.

nar┬Ěcis┬Ěsism (noun)
1.inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2.Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.

Some of the incompetent jackasses from the advertising agency I work for believe all of the stories contained on my blog were about them. There were multiple people who likened themselves to the same story on a few occasions. So much so that the company went to the length of blocking Blogger in all ways at the office.

Yes, I know you have a Master's Degree and are the epitome of all humanity, I know you are hateful and unforgiving, I know you can't sleep at night fretting over when your lies will catch up to you, I know you cheated on your husband with a client, I know you are a racist and a bigot, I know you drink at the office, I know you had an abortion, I know you had to bail your father out-of-jail, I know you have been fired from 3 different jobs for the same reason, I know so many things about so many of you. I won't name names, I won't name companies. I don't need to clarify if you are too dumb to not know the difference.

Are you really so self-absorbed yet bored that you feel the need to seek out stories to verify your existence in the eyes of others? I've been in the advertising workforce for over a decade. Can you honestly believe you are the only person/people I bother to write about? Get over yourself already.

Our next edition will bring you stories of Prom for Little-Known-Unloved-Fat-Chicks, and The Tar-Heeled Ginger Kid.


Anonymous gill said...

This is your best post EVUH!!
I love love LOVE the visual aid... very accurate, I must say!

10:42 AM  
Blogger RayRay said...

GREAT STUFF, love it.
LUNCH with bunch of friend - NOV. 13????????

9:40 PM  
Anonymous monkey said...

Love the stories.
Except the part about me. Damnit!

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Squatchyk said...

Wow a lot of interesting stuff happened at your work place. Remind me never to piss you off.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Conqueress said...

Gill - Thanks! The visual aid came all too easy :-)

RayRay - Lunch Nov. 26th!

Monkey - I almost forgot you are a raging Narcisist :-P

Squatchy - Don't piss me off... Hehehe, you're an awesome friend so I don't think that would ever happen anyway!

9:25 AM  

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