The Best of June - Horror Stories From Advertising

June was a month to remember for certain... as temperatures rise, so to tempers, and everyone is angry. Angry about the amount of money they make. Angry about the size of their raise. Angry about the person who said something that came across the wrong way to another person and resulted in a yelling match behind closed doors that made other people feel upset. I'm just tired of all the bitching.

Fireball - Yes, she's at it again! The anger and fury that is her personality has led to many dramatic changes in her little universe of hatred. I am in constant amazement of what people will put up with all because the Fireball is "just that way" in her behavior. If I had even one day of acting like she does as a lifestyle my ass would be looking for another job. Now, with all the things I do to help cover everyone else's butt, I can't catch everything that slips through the cracks. In early June a client had a campaign scheduled to start... but no one on the account thought to deliver the spot information to anyone within the building. No one e-mailed scripts. No one faxed instructions. No one called to get the information. It was as though the client just didn't exist for the month. To help correct the situation, several options were researched for getting the packages to the necessary stations in the same day, then as the ladies were coming to present her with the options, she shouted over the department, "TALK ONLY TO ME, PLEASE!" Funny that the gals were simply walking over to her cubicle, not really talking about anything. I wanted to say, "Don't be so angry at the world, little ball of fury. It is no one's fault but your own that your husband has left you. Just because he's not around anymore doesn't mean you can take out your aggressions on your co-workers." Instead, I watched... I like to do that. I like to learn people's breaking points and store up the information for a sunny day.

Greasy - This woman only works part-time. On the one or two days a month she visits, she comes in with stringy, greasy hair with bloodshot eyes that would make a pot-head envious. She is an over-paid, under-worked stay-at-home mom who procrastinates over her paperwork every month until the night before she needs to come in to turn in everything... so she stays up overnight, doesn't shower, and makes it look like she is truly more wigged out than necessary. We had a monthly meeting to touch base about an account I work with her on, and she pitched a fit that there wasn't anyone to make copies of her paperwork for her. She proceeded to tell the group of us in the conference room that she should be assigned an assistant on the days she plans to come in so she doesn't have to use the copy machine herself. She then turned to me and asked, "Can your house guest come in to work to make her copies for me tomorrow?" I responded with, "If you're willing to pay my guest to come to work on her vacation I'm sure she'd be happy to come in." The reply was, "As if! I never have to pay Panic Attack's kid to make copies for me, why should I have to pay for your house guest to come in?" I simply responded, "Because she is in town on vacation." Does she want the fucking planet on a silver-platter to cater to her every whim when she doesn't plan to DO HER JOB?!?

God am I getting sick of these people.