Bar Beeyatches

I enjoy the occasional drink. I try to not get completely drunk out of my wits but once a year... and I usually reserve that for our Annual Halloween Costume Party (nothing better than being drunk in an outfit you will never wear again... see picture above). My friends and I have a tradition of going to a local Irish Pub at least once a month for song night... Irish Pub + Song Night + Drinks = Very Happy Me. The thing I love about this place is the more you go, the more you learn the songs, the more you get to know the people who work there, and the more it feels like Drunken Irish Family Night back home. Our group of friends has been frequenting this place more than usual lately because it's getting closer to the all important St. Patrick's Day, and we really need all the practice we can get.

There's nothing unusual about going to this Pub and having people dance a jig, play a game of cards or dominos, or pound on the old wooden tables until glasses rattle off the edge and clamor onto the floor. It really isn't even unusual to see drunken women scream out a song title at the top of their lungs to try to get the attention of the lead singer so that he will play the songs they want to hear. What is unusual is a group of belligerently, disgustingly drunk women repeatedly screaming out songs in an intelligible manner that no one understands (not even my entire group of friends sitting directly in front of them).

The dialogue goes something like this:
"THAOLDUMPHOWSOGPLEEEEEEZE" ("The Ole Dun Cow Song PLEASE")
"WEWANUHEEAHSZOTTYZKEWIT" ("We wanna hear Scotsman's Kilt")
"PLAYDAHWIOWDOVER" ("Play the Wild Rover")
"GERWABBERZINMEMERDBIN" (***I have no idea)

I have very little patience for behavior like this... mostly because if you can't speak, you shouldn't. Even when I get REALLY drunk, I will do no more than say, "I ought to stop drinking" then grab some random person's ass and call it a night. So I took vocalizing (a.k.a. shouting in an understandable fashion) after the wenches would scream. Sometimes I tried to translate what they were saying, and if I couldn't understand I'd shout "COCKA-DOODLE-DOO!" or "DRUNK CHICKS ROCK". At one point one of them said, "Hey, youknowurmakinfunofus?" "No! Not at all! I'm just trying to make sure the singer can hear you since we're sitting closer to him" "Oh, wellthnksthen! Yourereallysweetgal." Oh believe me, I know. By the end of the evening it was a running joke between the singer, me, and all the non-plastered people in the bar. I half expected to have a few of the Drunken Beeyatch Posse waiting for me outside, but as I left with my friends I got a few handshakes and beer glass salutes for a job well done.