Monday

Fake Bake Tanning = Queer Husband?

My husband and I are finally going on vacation. The plan is a Caribbean Cruise in late April - 8 days, 7 nights, 4 destinations. I have never been anywhere tropical, and I can't wait to see the beaches... walk in the sand, swim in the ocean, and visit Mayan temples. The world is an adventure waiting to happen, and I want to see and experience as much of it as I can in my lifetime.

For the record - - I am not a big fan of tanning beds, but for our wedding I did get a golden tan without burning and had the "blushing bride" thing going. The woman who made our wedding cake is a world traveler - - she has been on 3 African safaris, visited Brazil, France, Australia, Jamaica, Iceland, among the many. I remember when I was a teenager she told me the best advice she could give for travelling is to go get an initial tan before visiting anywhere sunny / tropical, "Because nothing ruins a perfect vacation like a blistering sunburn on your first day out."

I have always remembered the advice, and have decided to take preventative action because this is one vacation I don't want to get fried on (I already know I don't get sea sick so we're good there). Upon telling my husband my plan to tan, he rolled his eyes and said, "You're just looking for a reason to get a tan." Remember, in our relationship, the only time I have EVER tanned was for our wedding.

I said, "Do you want me to buy a tanning package for you too?" To which he replied, "Do guys really do that? It sounds kind of gay." "Remember the woman who did our wedding cake? She and her husband both tanned for their last cruise, and he's 65!" "Oh well, yeah then, sign me up for some - - How many times should I go?" "Probably 2 or 3, if you don't like it you can stop."

So per our monthly game plan, we're going for chiropractic adjustments this weekend followed by a couples massage... and then he's getting his first tanning session. "I just hope I don't get a sunburn on my balls." I hope he doesn't either, but it would be damn funny!!!

4 Comments:

Blogger Josh huah said...

Just tell him to bring a tube sock (or mabey a baby sock depending on his "situation")and his kibbles n' bits should be ok.

One of the guys I worked with at Best Buy didn't know you were supposed to cover that part up, and spent the next week and a half walking funny cuz he burned his ding dong

3:58 PM  
Blogger R, J, & A said...

I miss the beach, it's been a while since I have been to one. Soon though, soon. There are so many places I want to take Josh to see, and many more I haven't been to yet. You guys will have so much fun.

If he rejects the sock idea (it's not stupid though all guys I know do that) he can always do the expensive UV-B beds - you go a full 20 minutes in those and will not ever burn, not even me. Those are great for a quick base tan and no real risk.

4:28 PM  
Blogger Debra said...

r, j, & a- interesting. I've never tanned, so this is all new to me.

LMAO at the sock thing though.. hehe

1:29 AM  
Blogger Conqueress said...

He has officially had his first tanning session and he ENJOYED it! He said he just kept his boxers on and rolled the waist band down and pulled the shorts up... he's not a Speedo guy, so only I will see the tan lines in the privacy of our home.

8:11 PM  

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