I Hate Mean People...

We have an evil neighbor... rotten to the very core of her cold, black heart. She is a miserable human being and reminds me on almost a daily basis that I HATE the fact the she even breathes the same air as me. She is just a bad person, and I'll let you know every little detail that has led me to this conclusion:

My husband and I bought our new home last July. It is a custom home in a pretty little neighborhood... I'd say 75% of our neighbors have kids under the age of 10. The incredible thing about the community is that we really are NEIGHBORS in the traditional sense. You need an egg for baking? Holler over the back fence and ask the neighbor. Beautiful weather for a BBQ? Call the neighbors and wheel everyone's grill to the park that's 1 block away. It's a strange, but also wonderful feeling to be a part of a community like ours. Everyone in the neighborhood for 6 blocks around is great, except the evil woman who happens to live directly next door to me.

We found out the couple next to us had been living in a hotel while they were waiting for their home to be completed. While in said hotel this couple had all their belongings stolen because they had parked a trailer in the hotel parking lot without a lock on the hitch (thus anyone could pull up, hitch up, and make off with free stuff). The day we began moving in was they day before their closing, and we saw them out front as they were preparing for their final inspection. I approached them and said, "I am so sorry to hear about your belongings. My husband and I have the week off, so please let us know if there is anything we can do to help you." The woman said, "Well, if the f-ing Police Department would get off their asses and do some goddamn investigating we could plan on using you two, but without our trailer it’s pointless to even talk about." I figured she was probably pretty miffed about having their stuff stolen and so I didn't take her hostility as anything besides irritation.

The following month, our entire block got together to plan our fences... at the time everyone's back yard was community dirt. We arranged several rate quotes, taped them to everyone's door, and we set a date for everyone to meet and discuss at the community park. The discussion began at the time noted, and 10 minutes into the meeting here comes my angry neighbor who says, "You might as well start over since I've missed whatever you've talked about since this thing started." Right then... the entire neighborhood agrees that one particular fence company is offering us the best deal, with a bulk discount, free gates, and they have a great reputation. Everyone, that is, besides my neighbor. She begins fuming about the cost of the fence, and how she felt everyone was against her because the entire block wanted metal fence posts, and she wanted wooden fence posts, and we were going to force her into a redwood fence when she wanted cedar, and we were all going to give her the "ugly" side of the fence because she showed up late to the meeting, blahblahblah, whine, and blah. Every person there was staring at her like she was out of her mind... we had arranged the fence setup so everyone would have 1/2 fence rails and 1/2 finished fence line on their property, so everyone would have some pretty & some ugly fence. The cost difference through this particular company for metal vs. wood was $0.50 per foot after discounts, and everyone offered to eat the cost of the shared fence line for metal posts and she only needed to pay the wood cost since she wanted wood, and the fence company offered to hide the metal posts for everyone with faux wood covers so it would look like a wood post. It took 3 weeks for her to agree to exactly the terms I just wrote above... But it gets better! Oh yes Batman, much better. She comes to me two days before the fence is to go in and wants to negotiate which side of the fence will be facing my house, the ugly or the pretty side. I really didn't care as long as a fence gets finished so our dogs could be outside (Greyhounds need to run)... and she tells me I should take the ugly side , and she'll split the cost on the metal fence posts in exchange. The day the fence guys show up she tells them about the fence, and adds that I had agreed to move up my gate to have more shared fence. The fence guys draw up new plans and come to my house to have me sign off on it. I was infuriated - - she volunteered me to spend an additional $400 on fence line I didn't want... THANK GOD it was my day off. I refused to sign, and told them to keep the direction of the fence to the original plan.

Come September, my oldest brother decided to come visit with his wife and their son. They stay for an extended weekend, and I took an extra couple days off so that after they left I could work on moving storage tubs from our garage into the basement. At the end of the weekend, my brother loaded up his family to leave, and the evil neighbors' son (who was 2 at the time) was standing by his mama's SUV waving "bye" to my little nephew. It was actually very cute. As my brother drove off, the neighbors' dogs began running around my front yard and the kid ran into my grass with them. I didn't think much about it so I went into the house and started moving storage tubs as planned. About 10 minutes later I came upstairs to get a drink, and noticed the neighbor's kid was still playing with his dogs in my yard. I figured I'd go say "Hello" and see how they were doing. I went out front and toward their home, but no one was outside... and their front door was open. Strange, so I head up their steps... and the dogs come tearing around the house and intercept me at the front door (growling and bearing their teeth). I shout inside a few times... no one answers. I go back to my yard and stand with the kid. I notice his diaper is completely full and hanging down to his knees. I freak out thinking something is terribly wrong. Everything is uncharacteristic of a parent - - their 2-year-old was outside alone, in a construction zone, with a full diaper. I had my husband to bring me the phone, and I called emergency dispatch. They tell me after 10 minutes of me explaining what's going on that they are sending over an ambulance, and they ask me to stay on the phone and with the kid. No problem. Another 5 minutes goes by, and then I hear from next door my neighbor shouting her son's name. She came outside, grabbed his hand and turned to go back to her house. I told the operator on the phone that there was no need to send an ambulance since the mom was there. I went inside without the neighbor saying a word to me and I figured that was that. Until my doorbell rang a 1/2 hour later... and a police officer was at my door. He asked if I was the person who ad called emergency dispatch, and I confirmed it was me. He tells me, "I wanted you to know that this probably isn't a situation of neglect, but more that the kid just figured out how to open the door." I hadn't thought about neglect, and I explained I was just worried someone had gotten hurt. Just then, evil neighbor came waddling down the street with her baby on her hip and the 2-year-old being drug behind her in his bare feet, "HOW DARE YOU CALL THE COPS ON ME! So much for being friendly neighbors - - I am going to get you for this! MARK MY WORDS!!!" The officer turns to her and says, "Ma'am, you need to calm down. Do not make any threats here... you are lucky to have neighbors like this couple to watch your son while you weren't paying attention to where he was." And she faced the cop, "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME I'M A BAD PARENT," then marched back to her house. The officer offered me an apology, and went straight back over to her house. I typed up a note explaining to her what had happened, and after the officer left I taped it to her door. About 9:00 that night she came to my house with a big speech about how she couldn't understand where I was coming from when I called emergency dispatch, and if it had been her she would have closed the curtains and pretended she didn't see a thing - - it was best for neighbors to stay out of each others' business. I told her that if her son had gotten run over by a construction truck because I had not stayed with him I would have had a guilty conscience forever, and if more people were genuinely concerned about each other there would be fewer cases of bodies rotting in their homes for weeks on end because no one checked to see if their neighbor was OK. She said the officer told her she was in the wrong, and that he had said she should have apologized for her behavior (but she didn't actually apologize). We haven't said much to each other since that day, but I did find out her son had gotten out of the house twice before our incident, and twice since.

At a recent community BBQ she showed up for a little while with her husband and kids, and loudly proclaimed to everyone that as soon as there was $50K in equity earned on their house they were out because it was such a rotten neighborhood. Again she received many blank stares, and as soon as she left everyone was asking, "How can you stand being neighbors with her?" "Patience is a virtue."


Blogger R, J, & A said...

omg I am so sorry, that sucks so much - at least she wants to move. I can't believe what some people do to their kids. Ashton is only 1 and can open doors - I have yet to have a problem with him actually getting outside, I have always even gotten him before he gets from the bathroom door to the toilet to play - sure things when kids are older is bound to happen but seriously. That is so sad.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Josh huah said...

This calls for a nice flaming bag of poop on her door, i bet you could even get some from her own kid.

"Oh I found this in my lawn I think it is yours...but i have no idea how it spotainously caught on fire"

2:38 PM  
Blogger R, J, & A said...

Also - you have been tagged! refer to my last post for info!

3:14 PM  
Blogger Collin said...

Wow. Just... wow. At least she's not hitting on your husband ;)

Hey, I found a MMORPG that I plan on checking out and didn't know if you'd tried it or not. It's called 'Minions of Mirth'.

Here's the main site:

And a review (of the Mac version):

What do you think?

7:57 AM  
Blogger Conqueress said...

Eh, what would life be without scary people to talk about... pretty boring.

Rosie - You're such a cool mom who truly has an interest in your kidlet. My neighbor let her mother take care of the kids while she watched soap operas (according to her) while she lived in California, and she only had the kids because her husband wanted them.

Josh - I like the flaming bag of poo idea. My vet was tempted to try to build a case againt her for "possibly" poisioning Miago, but I couldn't go there... he died and I didn't want to hate her more than necessary.

Collin - My husband is frightened of her because the two times he's seen her shouting at her husband to clean the garage she was braless... with knockers hanging over her pantline about down to the level of her hips.

8:24 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home