Sunday

Magic Mormon Panties

Another interesting study of religion - - I grew up in a small town as I've mentioned before. A better description would be a town of 1 grocery store, 2 gas stations, an elementary / junior high / high school, 5 bars, and 7 churches. A happy little place indeed. For being such a small town people needed bars to drink away the woes of a bad harvest (wheat mostly), and they needed churches to pray away their sins from drinking too much.

The churches were of all different sorts, but the two largest were Mormon. Why we needed two LDS churches in the same damn community is beyond me, but that did mean the majority of kids in school were Mormon. As per most communities, Mormon boys were the most innocent & clueless creatures ever to greace the halls of my school. Of course, the Mormon girls were easy.

I was an odd-ball, one of about 35 students in the entire school system who did not attend church, EVER. My family had lost religion when my mother's mother died a God-fearing Methodist who followed all the rules and suffered greatly at the hands of 5 heart-attacks. My mother decided there was no God because someone who worshiped Him should never have died in such a painful way. Being the odd-ball had its benefits. I became friends with all sorts of kids - - jocks, cheerleaders, geeks, goths, brainaics, and anyone in-between.

There was a girl whose family was hard-core Mormon, LDS, Latter-Day Saints, whatever. She would come to me during library time and talk to me about her parents, how they were hoping she would go on a mission and spread the word of God, and how they greatly desired for her to marry before she turned 20. There was a lot on her plate as far as the expectations go. In a quite conversation she once asked me, "Have you ever heard about the Mormon Undergarments?" "No. Do you have to order your underwear from a special catalogue?" "Sort of. Here, let me show you what my mother gave me this weekend." She and I giggled looking through a modest handout for ordering "Magic Underwear", along with a few other religious items as related to the Church.

I remembered this encounter a couple of days ago and decided to do a little searching to see what the internet could tell me. Check out these links for some good reading:

Mormon Underwear
Former Members Discuss The Garments
The Symbols - Pagan, Masonic, or Satanic?

5 Comments:

Blogger R, J, & A said...

crazy! I never knew. Dooce was mormon, I have never seen her talk about them before. What a strange thing.

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Smoove D said...

What were the other items? Jesus approved marital aids?

7:31 PM  
Blogger Conqueress said...

Silly things like socks with emblems, crossed made of wood & marble, symbolic bookmarks (to put in "A Gathering Of Saints" to keep the demons out as you read). The underwear just freaked me out. Many websites say they are simply a guideline to promote a modest dress code (i.e. don't show your underwear by wearing a mini-skirt). Up until a few years ago the rule was you had to be touching the garments as you bathed or had sex to ensure you were protected at all times. That has changed, but some traditionalists still adhere to the old ways.

7:41 PM  
Blogger Debra said...

Wow. I have never, ever heard of there being religion-sactioned underwear! I looked at all the links and read most of the text and am sitting here thinking damn that has to be uncomfortable! I loved reading the posts on the message board of former wearers though. Wow.

3:35 PM  
Blogger Conqueress said...

Yep. I had many a relationships end with nice Mormon boys because their mothers didn't like the non-Mormon girl. Oh well... I'd hate trying to get around more clothing for a bedroom romp anyway.

10:06 AM  

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