Nipple Bearing Co-Workers

Brace yourselves boys... I use the word "nipple" several times in this post.

Advertising is an industry for professionals. As professionals, I think it is appropriate to wear clothing that would be to acceptable standards even for Magic Mormon Underwear. I don't think it's OK for women to show off their thongs like they are auditioning to replace Britney Spears, nor do I think it's OK for women to wear skirts cut so high you can see what they had for lunch, nor is it OK for women to wear shirts cut so low you know whether they have an innie or an outtie. I don't approve of men wearing pants that fit them appropriately 15 lbs. ago but now emphasize everything BUT their good points, and I don't think it's OK for men to wear T-shirts in an office environment. In your free time - - wear whatever the fuck you want to wear. Even I will sport a mini-skirt or highly-visible clevage when I'm not at the office.

After much pondering over a name to assign to an extremely sweet woman I work with, I am resigned to calling her Nipples. I have found that in our offices, people come in starry-eyed and dreamy for their opportunity to work in Advertising. After a few short months they see through the illusion and don't give a crap anymore. That has happened to Nipples. She used to always dress so classy and stylish and was truly the envy of most women in the office. I guess she just had a way of looking professional and seductive all at once... and when she wasn't around she was the topic of conversation for her fabulous clothing.

Well, Nipples' few months of starry-eyed employment have come to an end, and so has her sense of caring about fashion. Her new style is a trendy skirt paired with a low-cut cotton shirt and clogs. She has been named Nipples by me because since she quit caring, she quit wearing a bra. Keep in mind she is very slender and virtually boobless so she is the perfect candidate for tank tops with shelf-bras built in and patterend tops for those days she does make the decision to go without a bra. Not the best build for single-layer cotton tops. Our offices are usually freezing, and instead of wearing a sweater to keep warm, Nipples marches around complaining about the temperature and bearing her nipples for all to see. I am friends with several men in the office, and a few have approached me in confidence asking if her boss had said anything to her yet. These men are all uncomfortable because Nipples has her nipples right there when she approaches them, and they all try to look away or not look at all due to sexual-harassment codes. Hey - - if any of the women look it's just looking, but if any of the men look it's harassment.

AT THE OFFICE - WEAR A DAMN BRA FOR FUCK SAKE. I know if I decided to come in braless one day I would be sent home immediately. Nipples' boobs without a bra are irritating. My boobs unharnessed would be vulgar.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally agree and can relate to a simular Advertising Agency issue I ran across a few years ago. We had an employee with 38DDs or larger who was hired while DDs was covered up. A month or so later, she decided it was time for a little competition so she uncovered A LOT. Since I was a supervisor at the time, it was my job to inform her that she was not dressed appropriately according to company policy. I told her in private that she might want to consider putting a bra on. That is all I said and then boom, sh_t hit the fan. I was wrong for telling an employee that she needed to follow company policy and I was repremanded by the company President. So I guess it is ok to show your DDs off if you can get away with it. Does this mean I get to show my pecks off? Probably not! But this Advertising Agency needs to get its act together.

6:19 AM  

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