New Dress Code

I must first apologize to my loyal readers... I'm not going to have many more posts about Nipples, Thongie, or The Fish after this week. Apparently word has gotten around about the plethora of inappropriate apparel, and a new company dress code will be in effect in by the end of the month. Moving forward I will be forced to focus on personality flaws, scandals, and unusual happenings instead of the multitude of circumstances involving wardrobe malfunctions with bras, thongs, mini-skirts, see-through blouses, and cleavage.

With that in mind, I am going to discuss a brief meeting I had today with The Boss and some representatives of DHL, FedEx, and UPS who are desperate for new business.

"What is your volume in shipping?" "Well, it varies from week to week. Sometimes our departments send 30 in a week, sometimes they send 500." "What's your overall average?" "(Lie) I'm not sure." "Okay, what do we need to do to win your business?" "Give me a solid rate quote that won't change and a late pick-up." "We can't do that... we can give you a volume discount that will change from week to week to follow your shipping patterns." "Oh really? Currently if we reach a certain volume with you we get a rate cut for the following weeks business, but by then our volumes has dropped again." "Um, let me check on what we can do." UPS leaves the room and jump on her cell phone. "Listen, we offer individualized customer service as a contractor for DHL. We have a vested interest in what happens to your packages." "Oh really? Give me an example." "You can call my mobile number directly anytime there's a problem." "How will that help me?" "I can call the people you wouldn't be able to reach and get answers back in a few hours." "By then it's too late for a solution." "We can give you a personal sales rep at our customer service hub. You would get individualized service, but it would be directly through the company, rather than a 3rd party." FedEx scowls at DHL. UPS returns. "We might be able to set up a flat rate on a trial basis until we see what your volume is." "We always set a flat rate, and we can adjust it up or down by year depending on what happens." "We can give you a permanent flat-rate discount on every package for everything."

I don't know what my decision will be until I get the quotes in writing... but I am leaning one way because of the 3 people who came, only one rep actually came dressed in business attire. I'm never impressed by people who show up in shorts to pitch new business to me. At least come in business casual and not dressed like you're going to a picnic.