Nazca Lines

As you may know, I am busy with a house guest over the next two weeks and do not have much time to dedicate to my posts. With that in mind, I will briefly discuss the Nazca Lines in Peru.

This ancient wonder is another on my list of "Things to see before I meet my maker." I am fascinated by the ingenuity of ancient cultures to create any sort of structures or landmarks that are still tangible to the world today. The Nazca Lines interest me particularly because of their sheer scale. Scattered all over the desert are drawings of monkeys, dogs, hummingbirds, and arrow-straight lines that span great distances. I can't draw a straight line on an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper, let alone drawing lines that span a landscape.

Click here to learn more!

Hey Man, Where's Your Skull Cap?

Yammika, Yamika, Yahmika, Yomicka, Yommika, Yammica, Yammicka, Yarmulke.

No matter how you spell it, most non-Jewish people recognize it from Adam Sandler's little tune from years ago. You probably know it as the little hat most Jewish men wear most of the time.

But why? Is it to keep your head warm? Does it block evil thetans? Ooops, wrong religion...

Well, another happy set of searches led me to an answer. The cap is to remind those of the Jewish faith follow the tradition as in tractate Shabbat 156b, which states "Cover your head in order that the fear of heaven may be upon you". So there. It is a friendly reminder that God is up there, over your head, all the time.

For more information, follow theses clickies:
Wikipedia's Explanation
Judaica Guide

And I found it to be incredibly funny how these "Masters of the Web" get their "keyword hits". Scroll down to the bottom of the site and highlight upwards. There are thousands of words they have added to the page in "camouflage" to attract more traffic to the site...
SPECIAL JEWS

Why I Love Stereotypes

Because they are stereotypes for a reason - - 90% of the time THEY'RE TRUE! So that being said, I don't think every guy over 6'5" should play basketball, nor do I think every person in a turban is a terrorist... but the following is a list off the top of my head of my favorite stereotypes, followed by my thoughts on the stereotypes.

Blondes have more fun. - False. Having experimented with virtually every hair color under the sun, I can definitely say Red Heads have more fun. People tend to avoid Blondes (natural or bottle-assisted) because they're dumb.

Asians can't drive. - True, unless someone who isn't Asian is in the car with them. My former college roommate was a great driver when we were together or if any of her white friends were riding with her, but if her Asian friends were with her she forgot where the lines were, what the colors of lights mean, and what road signs are for.

If you're from Georgia you're inbred. - False. If you were born in Georgia you're inbred, everyone else moved there. Go ahead and try to argue, but if you have a "Georgia Native" bumper-sticker, you likely have "My Cousin is Hot" right next to it.

Black men have abnormally large reproductive organs. - True. I never found this out first-hand, but many of my female friends will swear by the global rumors. Must be the generations of tribal dance over 2500 years... Gravity Works!

Divorced women are man-haters. - False, unless they had children with said ex. Several women I work with are divorced, some are happily re-married, some a happily single and dating. Then there's the women who had kids and practically vomit when a man walks by.

Irish people can drink anyone under the table. - True. I maybe have a drink once a month. I get drunk maybe once every two years... and if competition is involved with drinking I will out-drink every man, woman, child, and animal without breaking a sweat (and not feel a thing the next morning).

All Native Americans are drunks. - False. I dated several Native American men, and not a single one was a heavy drinker, nor were their parents or grandparents. They all had a daily drink, but that does not add up to "drunk" in anyone's book. Now if we're talking about personal hygiene, that's another story...

White guys can't dance. - True. Even the ones who have a clue look goofy / fruity when they try to dance. I think that's why square-dancing was invented... very military-ish stepping, and men are only accessoriec to swinging the women around.

People from Texas can't drive. - Correction... "I hate driving in -INSERT YOUR CITY HERE-. All the damn drivers from -INSERT YOUR MOST HATED STATE HERE- make my commute miserable".

House Guests

Why does the cleaning instinct kick in whenever women expect house guests? What is it that makes each of us turn into teeth-clenching, grumbling, scowling bitches? Something in our chromosomes? Something the government has put into the water that only affects women this way? Maybe it's in the fast food we crave after a cleaning spree that drives the rage...

As I find myself expecting my first long-term house guest to arrive this weekend, all of the behaviors of my mother came out in my cleaning rampage. I snapped at my husband, yelled at the cats, kicked the dog (ok, not really) - - but I became Evil Cleaning Woman of Doom! I had a mission, a plan of attack, a system to get my house caught up from the last 2 months of neglect since Spring Cleaning.

My guest is my oldest niece visiting from out-of-state. She's a teenager, kind of messy from what her mother tells me, and likely wouldn't notice the difference in my house being clean (like it is when I expect any company) and my house being a bit disorderly (which is the norm). Either way, she is from a family of 4 - - her older brother, herself, her little sister, then her youngest brother. There's not much money going around on my brother's income (he's a church pastor), so my niece has been at times forced to wear her brother's hand-me-downs. A good month will have the family Goodwill shopping or perusing new stuff at Wal-Mart, but she's never been really spoiled because she's never been the only kid.

We're going to have pedicures & manicures together, we're going to a Renaissance Faire, visiting an art museum, painting pottery, off-roading, shopping, and anything else that comes to mind. My husband and I think this trip will be a chance for her to get away from it all and just have fun! Hopefully the stubborn teenager vanishes for these two weeks and she's just a happy young woman on vacation.

I want my house to be clean so she doesn't have to step around my paperwork on the floor like the toys of her siblings. I want the guest room to feel fresh, comfortable, and quiet so if she needs some time to herself she can have it. I want clean floors so she can run around barefoot and not worry about getting some forgotten craft project's pieces embedded in her foot.

A little sweat, some serious focus, and a helping hand from my husband has provided me a clean house for the moment. Please notice the key phrase "for the moment". Goodness knows that as soon as my niece leaves and my husband decides the house is his domain again I will be back to where I started - - with manuals, remotes, and empty soda cans spread throughout the house with the tornado-blown look that has become the standard.

Thoughts In My Head

Go for a Sunday drive to a cozy resturant -OR- Take the truck into the mountains with a picnic lunch. Pick up the phone and call my brothers and dad -OR- Plan a family reunion. Smile & nod -OR- Slap my work associate in the face. Stick to my diet -OR- Enjoy a cheesburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake. Let the driver trying to cut me off in -OR- Block him then flip him off as I drive by. Ease my PMSing friend's mind and tell her she looks fine -OR- Tell the truth... she looks like death warmed over. Pretend I don't notice The Boss' racist comments while letting her tell me I don't understand because I'm not a minority -OR- Correct her racist ass and remind her of my Native American hergitage (while brandishing a tomahawk). Leave my husband alone about how messy the basement is with the xBox 360 manuals and games -OR- Pile every last piece of crap on his desk and tell him he will NOT be sleeping in our bed until he finds a place to keep it all. Save up $700 and spend it on window-well covers at our home -OR- Save up $700 and spend it gambling on our next cruise. Stay completely sober at the Renaissance Faire and pretend to enjoy the shows -OR- Drink way too much honey meade, take over a couple of shows, and have my tits show up on Geeks Gone Wild.

An Exercise

The following is an exercise posted on a friend's site. Kind of interesting, and a good way to vent!!!

List ten things you want to say to ten people you know, but will never say for whatever reason. Don't mention who they are (although they will most likely never read this) .

1) Seriously, get over yourself. I am sick and tired of hearing about how great life is when I know you better than that. Maybe you're blissfully ignorant, but I think you'd rather lie to me to try to make me jealous. We're not 12 anymore, that doesn't work.

2) How dare you lie to my family about what happened between us. We both you were the one with a "problem", and that I left you because of it you fucking perverted ass-hat. Pretending that marriage will fix you and make you normal is way off. I pray you never have children, or at least that you never have daughters.

3) Why couldn't you have been there for me? I didn't need anything more than a friend, and you said you didn't even want me to call you. It was the hardest phase of my life and you were the only person I was close to.

4) You should try letting go of a grudge sometime. I don't like being in the middle, and am getting tired of being everyone's moderator when there's a problem. If you have a, issue with the situation, stop bitching to me and go talk to the person involved.

5) Get a divorce. It's not going to work, it never will. Stop beating yourself up over a marriage that isn't working and just leave. You'll be better off and won't have to deal with your evil in-laws manipulating your spouse any more.

6) Stop thinking that the things happening are caused by everything around you. The only consistent part of your problems is that they involve you.

7) Yes, I left you because I was tired of hearing about how small your "Mini Me" was. The conversation was appropriately handled once we knew each other well (date 5 if I remember). I applaud you for having the courage to warn me. HOWEVER, bringing it up every date after that made me never even want to give you a chance in bed (it's not like I was going to forget).

8) Stop using your "circumstances" as an excuse. I worked through my "circumstances" and made things happen for myself. You're as bright and enthusiastic as you want to be - - use your energy and MAKE THINGS CHANGE. No one else is going to help you at this point.

9) I hope you get hit by a bus. It would be doing society a huge favor for fetid rot like you to not exist. Every fiber of your being is vile & rancid... you have no redeeming qualities. Until you save a basket of drowning puppies WITHOUT immediately asking to be featured in the newspaper, wanting reward money, or gloating to every person in a fifty mile radius - - I will have zero respect for you.

10) Stop spending money. If you don't have enough self control to say "I don't need another pair of shoes / video game / DVD / whatever" then seek out help. Complaining about not being able to buy food becuase your credit cards are maxed makes me want to smack you. Maybe if you hadn't wasted so much money buying more crap you don't need then you could afford to continue living.

As you can see I'm pretty angry with all the people I know. The only things that really make me truly happy are my husband, my pets, and our activities that only involve my husband & pets (and some of our friends).

My Two Cents

Alright, I do have an opinion on politics, and am entitled to one because I LIVE IN AMERICA & AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!!! If you don't like my opinion, try reading the First Amendment, then promptly lick my butt.

I see both sides to gay marriage. It's never been a part of traditional society in the United States and religiously speaking, it's forbidden. But why can't people who want to be together forever, be together married even if they're the same sex? That's the basic argument.

Well here's my side. I think same sex marriage should be accepted.

Reason 1 : There is a worldwide epidemic of AIDS and other harmful STDs - - they are NOT isolated to the homosexual community, and married people are not exempt in any way (because people still cheat, married or not, straight or gay). My thought is that marriage does promote monogamy in many ways, and who really cares if people are married or life partners... There are plenty of straight people who are life partners and it works for them, so why not let homosexual couples marry to have it work for them.

Reason 2 : Homosexuals are NOT going to breed heterosexuals out of existence... Married couples all over the US who cannot have children turn to adoption. Most adoption agencies require couples to be married in order to adopt. Wouldn't gay marriage help the thousands of unwanted children around the world find homes in the arms of two parents who love each other? People are either born straight or gay, and if a straight child were to be adopted by a gay couple - - they would be raised with more open eyes and sympathetic heart. Personally I would prefer to see a homosexual married couple raise a family of adopted children rather than see those same kids grow up as unwanted members of a crack-whores in a dilapidated house of prostitutes.

Reason 3 : We are all human and have the same nature. We sow our wild oats, we make choices, make mistakes, learn lessons, and have desires. Anyone who desires to be married goes out and gets married if they are straight. Why do the rules have to be different for homosexuals? It's like saying a Mormon and Catholic can't get married because they look at God and Jesus differently. It's just stupid.

Big Downfall : Fraud. In college, I was so broke that my roommate and I probably would have gotten married to save some money. It would have been a big joke to us, easy enough to deal with a divorce by signing some quick papers, and we would have gotten quite a bit of savings on our taxes. I think there's enough assholes in the world to make the system a nightmare!